parlez-vous francais?

The only good thing about French is the food. Image via here

I feel rather like giving up. I am now in my third semester of French, and it's awful. Just awful. Foreign languages and I do not get along. So why am I taking it you ask. Well, it just so happens that the greatest major on campus (that would be mine- English teaching), has one little flaw- it requires you to take four semesters of a foreign language. I understand that it should theoretically help me be better at English. But it realistically is not. And I hate it. I have an oral exam that I have to take today at 5 (t-minus 2 1/2 hours), and a written exam to be taken on Monday (the last possible day). I thought I understood, and then today I went to class and realized that the majority of answers I wrote down on my review sheet were incorrect. And I wanted to cry. I almost did, but I didn't want to give my teacher the satisfaction. (Actually, he's an ok guy- I'm just not really a fan- and he doesn't hate me, despite what I may like to believe). So, after spending an hour with my teacher yesterday trying to understand the concepts I am to be tested on, and still not comprehending them, I want to give up. I do not care about French, never have. I don't understand it. I can't read, write, or speak it and I certainly don't understand others when they try to speak it. For example, today I asked a quesiton in class (in my broken French) and my teacher responded (in his non-broken French). I didn't understand a word of his explanation, but I felt too stupid to say so, so I just nodded and said 'okay'. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to get through this. But I guess we all have our trials right? And I guess this is mine.

Really!?!

Normally, being twenty years old and unmarried, with zero prospects of marriage wouldn't be a big deal. However, courtesy of the good ol' institution of BYU apparently, being twenty and very single with graduation peeking around the corner (-ish, still two years out, but I've been here three years so...) is a problem. I was talking to my lovely friend Kristen a few days ago about how ridiculous it is that I'm TWENTY (I can not emphasize this point enough) and feeling pressure to get married. Lots of friends are either already married or taking the plunge this summer. I am not remotely close to this possibility in my life, and ya know what?! I'm totally ok with that. I don't want to be married! I have so much to do and to learn about myself and others. I still don't know who I am yet, I'm not ready to add another person into the mix- at all. Even if I graduate unmarried, so what? It effects no one but me. I don't need people telling me that if I graduate unmarried then it'll never happen. Really?!? What are you trying to do to me man? And you want me to stop hanging out with two of my best friends because they're boys and because I know I won't marry them and therefore they're not marriageable prospects? Really?!?
I love my life. I love where I'm at and what I'm doing. I love not worrying about taking care of anyone but myself (and yes, I know how selfish that sounds). I love the freedom I have. I love all the friends I've met and the wonderful time we all have together. I'm not married, and nor am I dating anyone, but if it doesn't bother me, it shouldn't bother you. Ok? Things will happen in due time. Someday I'll meet my Mr. Darcy and get married but until then, let me enjoy what I've got.

p.s. The title of this post is courtesy of this clip. It's a favorite among my brothers and me.
p.p.s. Sorry for the bitterness that might be found throughout the above rant. I just needed to get it out. BUT please note, I am not against marriage at all. It's wonderful and great! Just not for me right now.